INYOU WINDOW, July, 2006: “How God sees me.”
How does God see me? Does He see me as I see myself? Does He judge me based on my choices, behavior or performance, or by my inner thoughts and feelings, or by my past experiences and cultural upbringing? I tend to spend a lot of mental energy thinking about myself, being analytical, critical, questioning, doubting, guilt-tripping, wondering, thinking and planning how to change myself (and my ministry) to be more “marketable”, appealing, acceptable, desirable. This is exhausting, demoralizing and down-right depressing most of the time! So how does God see me?
God sees me as spirit. God is Spirit (Jn. 4:24) and “the Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God” (Rm. 8:16). “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of a man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God” (1 Cor. 2:9-12). It stands to reason, therefore, that if God sees me as a spirit being and communes with me in spirit, that His focus is not my focus and what He has concerned Himself with is not what I concern myself with. This has been liberating for me to consider this month! Let me explain.
As we teach, man is born “dead in the spirit to God.” With Adam’s life passed on to us through our “spiritual DNA,” we are born in sin, separated from God. Although God miraculously creates our body and soul in the womb of our mother, there is no life in our spirit apart from Him. (This is why Jesus tells Nicodemus that in order to receive eternal life, he must be “born from above” (lit.); and the woman at the well must “worship in spirit and in truth.”) Since the Garden of Eden incident, mankind has operated independently of God’s Spirit, which ultimately results in a condition called “flesh” (NIV translates this “sin nature”). “Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (Rm. 8:8). This condition is unacceptable to God. The flesh may go “bad” or “good” resulting in “UN-righteousness” or “SELF-righteousness” (“Saturday night flesh” or “Sunday morning flesh”), but it is still cut off from God. In the flesh, we concern ourselves with comparing and competing, judging “right” and “wrong.”
I’ve been in the flesh a lot lately. I know why, too. My focus has been on me! I’ve done my “soul work,” I’ve examined my past and my bellybutton lent, and I must agree with Paul: “nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh” (Rm. 7:18). I’ve been depressed because I’ve felt useless. Somewhere along the way I picked up this idea that usefulness was next to godliness. As long as I am active in ministry I am significant. (Ministry is activity, right?) But if I spend time on “secular things” (like painting) or projects for myself or for my family, I am wasting God’s investment in me (and INYOU INVESTORS’ investments in me) and I begin to fear that I might slowly slip into oblivion and be forgotten forever! God reminded me of my ordination, when my former youth minister shared the story of my surrender to ministry in ninth grade. I signed a blank piece of paper signifying my “contract with God” and turned it in. God was then given the freedom to “fill in the blanks.” Well, as long as the blank page is filled with meaningful ministry, I am content, significant, useful, etc.; but I’ve not been enjoying the days when God hands me back a blank contract.
Here’s the good-news revelation: If God sees me as spirit and not body and soul (the flesh), then He does not judge me on the basis of my behavior—the “good” or “bad” deeds I’ve done in the past—my service or my sins. Instead, He sees me as “dead” or “alive.” (”He who has the Son has the life, He who does not have the Son of God, does not have the life” 1 Jn. 5:12). This means I am not on a sliding scale with God getting graded for my performance, but rather, I am on a pass or fail scale; I am acceptable or unacceptable. This is great news because in Christ I am alive, born again, acceptable, useful, valued, significant, etc. This is the truth and this is how God sees me! (More than just seeing me this way, it is actually how I AM in Christ! Col. 3:1-4) My problem, then, is not that I am not doing something significant for God or even that I am doing something sinful; instead, it is that I am living in unbelief! I am seeing me as flesh and not spirit, and I am not receiving the very life of Christ as my life. I am not living by faith “and without faith it is impossible to please {Him}” (Heb. 11:6). I am focused on me and my needs, wants, inadequacies, weaknesses, fears, etc. No wonder I get so depressed!
So what do I do about it? I must simply repent and believe. I must stop focusing on the circumstances in which God has placed me, and start focusing on who I am in Him. I cannot work the works of God in the flesh anyway, so this is why I worry and stress over my situations! I must let go of the conditioned response of my flesh to see ministry activity as a measure of value and, instead, recognize the revelation and receive the work and the word of God: “This is the work of God, that you believe” (Jn. 6:29) So how does God see me? He sees me as spirit—His Spirit now living in me, alive and well, supplying me with all I need to satisfy God and fulfill His purposes in my life. The cross made this possible and God will finish what He made so great an investment to start. Lord, lead me!
NOTES: In May’s InYou Window, “A Detour For God’s Glory!”, I mentioned Hannah Sobeski, a high school junior who was diagnosed with cancer. She is now miraculously healing in Houston, TX, and doctors are dumbfounded. We were with her the day before her healing began. AMEN! Also, thanks to Dr. Herrin for the book The Rest of the Gospel (when the partial Gospel has worn you out), by Dan Stone & David Gregory. I’ve needed these reminders desperately!
